We’re up to week number seven as we eat our way through the Panda Express menu.

Last week they had ran out of one of the entrees I was trying to order, so let’s see if we can correct that this week. To the drive-through we go!

As I mentioned, last week they were all out of the String Bean Chicken Breast, so we’ll try once again to order that along with the Sweetfire Chicken Breast entree. I’ll also get a side order of fried rice.

I’m finding out it’s never easy to order here. I ordered a separate entree of the Green Bean Chicken Breast and the Sweetfire Chicken Breast and was then asked what side I’d like with my plate.

They’re always pushing the fucking plates here!

I then explained I wanted two separate entree orders and she replied: “Oh, you want them packaged separately?”

So I said, “Yeah,” and she told me to pull up for my order.

We’ll see what we get this week.

What pisses me off at this never-fucking-ending red light is that you have to wait through the entire right turn arrow cycle till it turns green. Why not have them both at the same time? Sheesh!

Okay, we’re back at MBIP World Headquarters Kitchen and Tasting Area. Hopefully the order’s not too fucked up this week.

In spite of the fact that I ordered the entrees as separate items, they still rang it up as a “plate.” Last week I got a medium entree and it was just about the same cost as this entire “plate.” You’d think they’d be pushing the entrees, but what the fuck do I know?

I just hope they packaged them correctly. Let’s take a look.

Actually this worked out okay. I have two mini-entrees and fried rice. Perfect for sampling each item.

I forgot to ask for extra soy sauce and hot mustard, but there’s plenty in my supply so it’s no big deal.

But wouldn’t you think they’d add soy sauce with each meal?

This place really frustrates me as the weeks roll along.

There’s the two mini-entrees and the fried rice. Let’s plate this food up and see how it tastes.

Holy screaming shitballs! As I was plating up the Sweetfire Chicken Breast I made a stomach-turning discovery.

There’s giant fucking chunks of pineapple in this entree!

To me, pineapple is like beans in chili, it doesn’t belong in a cooked dish. It makes everything sickeningly sweet, it’s mooshy and it’s just plain gross.

Hate the pineapple. Hate, hate HATE it!

I picked the disgusting chunks out, and now I’ve really lost my appetite. But I’m a professional, so we’ll just keep moving along here.

But I hate the pineapple. Hate, hate, HATE it!

Fuck!

Here’s the two entrees plated and mixed with the fried rice, soy sauce and hot mustard. Let’s dig in!

First Bites

String Bean Chicken Breast: This was okay. The chicken and string beans were tasty and the onions and carrots blended in well. Overall, it was kind of bland, but not horrible.

Sweetfire Chicken Breast: They put pineapple in this shit! I hate the pineapple. Hate, hate, HATE it!

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Panda Rating (1-4)

String Bean Chicken Breast

Two pandas. It was okay, but I’d never come back for it. I’m realizing that Panda Express is the place to go if you have a child or a friend who’s a picky eater. This shit is really bland.

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