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Meanwhile, Back In Peoria...

A Travel Blog In And Around The River City With Your Host, Marty Wombacher

March 19, 2021

Panda-Menu-Monium! Eating The Entire Menu At Panda Express Chinese Kitchen - Week Number Six: Honey Sesame Chicken Breast & Fried Rice (They Were All Out Of The String Bean Chicken Breast)

by MBIP


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Okay, we’re up to a half dozen weeks of eating the Panda Express menu. This week we’ll be ordering the Honey Sesame Chicken Breast and the String Bean Chicken Breast as we make our way through the Entrees Menu.

And so it’s off to the Panda Express drive-through we go!

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This week we’ll be sampling two more entrees, the Honey Sesame Chicken Breast and the String Bean Chicken Breast.

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It’s a cold and shitty rainy day outside, but I ventured out to get this week’s order. Oh the sacrifices I make for this blog!

I drove up to the order station and placed my order and was told that they were all out of the String Bean Chicken Breast.

Okay, I could see this if it was the end of the evening but it’s 1:30 in the fucking afternoon. So you run out of the String Bean Chicken Breast…hey Panda Express, here’s a novel idea…why don’t you just make some more? You’re a fucking restaurant after all! Sheesh!

I let it go and just ordered some fried rice to go with this week’s entree, but it’s starting to seem like every week we’re going to experience some new kind of incompetence here!

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And of course we have to waste more time at the red light that rarely changes.

For proof, look at the right turn signal. It goes through a whole cycle as we sit here at the intersection of never moving traffic.

Fuck!

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Finally, we’re back at MBIP World Headquarters Kitchen and Tasting Area for week number six of eating the entire menu at Panda Express.

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As I looked at the receipt for this week, I noticed they have a placement for Hot Mustard, even though they don’t charge for it. Plus they call it “Hot Mustard sauce pk.”

Since when is mustard a sauce and what the fuck does “pk” mean? And if there’s zero charge why put it on the fucking receipt?

I tell you, it’s almost like they’re trying to fill me with rage. And they’re winning!

Fuck!

However, speaking of hot mustard…

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Check out all the extra hot mustard and soy sauce we got this week! A motherlode of condiments!

So there’s that!

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Here’s the two boxes with this week’s Panda Express meal.

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I combined the Honey Sesame Chicken Breast and the Fried Rice and added a generous amount of hot mustard and soy sauce to the dish.

Let’s try out this week’s entree and fried rice.

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First Bites

Honey Sesame Chicken Breast & Fried Rice: This wasn’t bad. The chicken was equal parts sweet and savory and it was complimented well by mixing it with the fried rice.

The hot mustard and soy sauce helped add some spice and flavor to the dish. It wasn’t the greatest Chinese food I’ve ever had, but it also wasn’t the worst.

——

Panda Rating (1-4)

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Two Pandas: It was okay, but it’s not like I’d ever come back for it. Plus what kind of restaurant runs out of an entree at 1:30 in the fucking afternoon?

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Okay, at least we got two fortune cookies this week. But they still kind of suck, even if this shit is true, they’re not fortunes! It’s kind of like saying, “Your hair is turning grey.”

Give us some futuristic shit here Panda Express!

——

And Now, Your Weekly Moment Of Panda!

The Nanny and the pandas. Ta da!

——

Related Posts: MBIP Eats Panda Express: Original Orange Chicken & Firecracker Chicken Breast, Failed Order, Fried Rice & Super Greens, Chow Mein & Steamed White Rice and Cream Cheese Rangoon, Chicken Egg Roll & Vegetable Spring Roll.

Panda…

Surprise link, click on it…I dare you!

2 Comments

TAGS: MBIP Eats Panda Express


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