Live from Peoria, it’s Saturday Night Cheeseburger! Tonight’s host is MBIP headquarters with a special guest appearance from the Angriest Ice Machine in the World and featuring the ready for Prime Beef Player, Marty Wombacher. And now, please welcome this week’s host, the MBIP Headquarters!
Okay, as I’ve explained in the past few weeks posts, this year's batch of SNC episodes are going to consist of me going back to the place I went to a year ago and getting something other than a cheeseburger. This is a picture of my car from last year’s post and as you can see it’s covered in ice and the streets were like a skating rink. So last year I went straight to the MBIP Headquarters...
Which is exactly what we’re going to do tonight, even though there’s no ice storm going on. Happily, the MBIP mobile is ice free.
And so it’s off we go, blazing into the heart of the night.
Okay, here we are at the official MBIP Headquarters. There’s Gumby who never moves because he’s a little freak!
Last year the freezer had frozen White Castle hamburgers that we microwaved. This year I have something special planned...
I’m always talking about Butch’s frozen pizza, but there’s two other local frozen pizzas available in town, Agatucci’s and Davis Brothers. I thought we’d have a little contest and see which one wins the best pizza award for this SNC edition. The pizzas will be judged on packaging, appearance after being cooked and taste. And so, contestants get ready and we’ll let this saucy battle begin!
First thing we’re judging is the packaging. Butch’s scores good points for a nice informational label, yet you can see still the perimeter of the pie itself.
Here’s Davis Bros. pizza. Just like Butch’s, they have a nice label that allows you to see what you’re buying, plus...
They score points for this little cartoon chef guy! I like him!
Agatucci’s is new to the frozen pizza field and they’ve made a mistake with their packaging—you can’t see the pizza at all! Who knows what could be under the label...it could be the flattened head of Alfredo Garcia and I would have no idea what temperature to pre-heat the oven for that! Butch’s pizza wins this round not only for solid and nice packaging but...
They have the word “retard” on the label! I’m tempted to stop the contest right now and declare them the winner on this merit alone, but we’ll soldier on!
I never pay attention to the instructions on how to cook the pizza. I cook all frozen pizzas the same way, I pre-heat the oven to 450 degrees and put them in on my special MBIP pizza skillet. Then usually after about twelve minutes of cooking I put the broiler on and broil the pizza for about two minutes to really brown the cheese and the results...
Look like this! This is the Butch’s and it looks and smells great!
The Davis Bros. looks wonderful as well...
As does the Agatucci’s. I’d say that it’s a three way tie for this portion of the contest. They all look very inviting and delicious!
Okay, here’s three slices I’ve cut from the pies, time for the all-important tasting portion of the contest.
The Butch’s is great. The crust is crispy, yet as you bite into it there’s a bit of a doughy texture. The cheese has melted and mixed well with the sausage that is really savory and tasty. Lots of textures and flavors intermingling here. This is one tasty and satisfying slice!
Davis Bros. slice is good, but the cheese just stayed on top and isn’t intermingling with the sausage. And speaking of the sausage, it’s a little dry and crumbly and for some reason makes me think of a leper. Why I don’t know, but I’m a little freaked out over here. Yikes!
Agatucci’s slice is really good. The crust is crispy and the cheese has melted around big tasty chunks of sausage. The one thing that brings it down a little for me, is that it doesn’t taste as good as the restaurant pizza, but it’s a good frozen pizza for sure. The official ratings are below, but all three pizzas were very tasty and there’s no excuse not to buy local when you’re shopping for frozen pizza!
Speaking of pizza, look at all the leftovers we’ve got and I’m stuffed. Luckily I like cold pizza but...
The MBIP fridge is pretty well filled up with liquid refreshment for the weekend. I don’t want to waste this pizza...I need to figure out a way to put it on ice...ice? Hey, are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Well, hello there Mr. Ice Machine! I’ve got a favor to ask of you!
Oh fuck, it’s you again, can’t you see I’m busy here you prick? This is Saturday night, my busiest night of the week. The last thing I need is to be doing you a favor, you loser fucktard you! How about you doing me a favor, prick, how about you eating a big pile of shit and then dying a fast death for me? Think you can handle that? Asshole!
Why do you always have to be so angry towards me? I just need to store this pizza in you overnight, it’s really not a big deal.
Fuck you, prick! I told you it’s my busy night, everybody needs ice tonight and I can’t be your personal fucking cooler. You put food in here you’re going to fuck the ice up. It’ll taste like fucking tomato sauce. Jesus fucking Christ are you ever a self-centered fucking idiot!
Oh, I think it’ll be okay, if the ice tastes like tomatoes, it’ll be perfect for Bloody Mary’s tomorrow. I’ll just slide this on in...
You fucking prick bastard, get that shit out of here...
Well, I think I’ll just flip your lid, Mr. Ice Machine!
(Muffled shouts and curses.)
Oh, gee, I can’t hear you anymore, Mr. Ice Machine...I’ll be down tomorrow to pick up the pizza. We’ll see you all tomorrow!
Butch’s Frozen Pizza—Four Galloping Gourmets—the best frozen pizza in Peoria, in my somewhat humble opinion.
Agatucci’s Frozen Pizza—Three Galloping Gourmets—it’s a really good frozen pizza and you should check it out, but it just doesn’t match up to the pizza you can get at the restaurant.
Special Delivery From Jaws The Cabbie!
Jaws the Cabbie sent in his very own Pizza via email. Ha! Nice work, Jaws! Thanks for the delivery!