Okay, I have to work late tonight and I have to meet some MBIP contributors at 11:30AM for a Contributor’s Lunch tomorrow, so that cuts out a nighttime post. And today I can’t go anywhere today, because I’m stuck here waiting for the Cable Guy, who’s supposed to be here between 1PM and 3PM. And because I’m obsessively weird about time, I’m already waiting for him and it’s just 11:43AM. So let’s while away the time till he gets here. Not too exciting, but hey, it’s just a day in the life. The Cable Guy is coming because my internet has been behaving wonky for a while and they think it’s my ethernet cable. It’s been driving me nuts for over a month, so hopefully it’ll all get fixed. We’ll see what he says when he gets here. Till then you can follow along with a day in my life waiting for the Cable Guy. Here we go.

11:58AM:
I just made my bed. I smell you...I mean I tell you, some days the excitement just never starts.

12:05PM:
Let’s pick out a CD to listen to.

12:07PM:
I chose the Monkees live from 1967. This CD is proof that The Monkees could play their instruments and were a real band. It’s just the four of them on this CD and while the music is a little raw, it’s still good. It’s kind of punk-rock like. You can get a copy here on Amazon.

12:09PM:
I always put the cover on display to the left of my boom box so people will know what’s playing. Even though 95% of the time it’s just me in here, but this way if the Cable Guy is curious, he’ll know what’s what.

12:11PM
Daily Inventory of inanimate pets! Four plastic chickens, check. Two plastic alligators, check. Three Shamwow Dolls made by Ash Pungsnotded, check. Carry on my wayward sons and daughters!

12:15PM:
Tea time!

12:16PM:
Cheers! I drink a ton of tea in the daytime. Just ask Greg and Dan.

12:23PM:
I think I’ll clean the bathroom, I don’t want it to be dirty if the Cable Guy needs to use it. But I pray he doesn’t ask to use it, it kind of freaks me out having strangers use the bathroom. Especially if they’re in there over a couple of minutes. Who knows what they're doing in there and I hate to imagine the shenanigans that one person could create in there.

12:25PM:
I use the “Nice!” toilet bowl cleanser, as opposed to the “Mean, Angry and Somewhat Vengeful!” toilet bowl cleanser that some stores sell.

12:47PM:
All clean!

12:49PM:
Obligatory bathroom mirror shot!

12:51PM
Okay, Hieronymus.

12:54PM:
Alright, my cable window of time is almost here, I think I’ll take out the trash check the mail, before it officially starts. Kind of a gloomy day out here, the dumpster is just over there.

12:55PM:
That Cardboard Box Man Mutation on the dumpster freaks me out every time I take out the trash. Aaahhhh!

12:57PM:
Let’s see what came in the mail today.

12:58PM:
Wow, it’s always depressing to see an empty mailbox. So far, this hasn’t been a great Tuesday, but what are you going to do? I guess suicide is one option, but I have over six beers in the refrigerator that I need to drink after work, so it looks like I’ll live to see another day!

1:00PM:
Okay, even though the clock says, 1:05PM, it’s officially 1:00PM and my cable waiting window has begun. I was hoping that a miracle would happen and that he’d show up early, but that miracle didn’t happen. And yes, I set my clock ahead five minutes, the clock in my car is six minutes fast, I have some issues with time. Unlike The Rolling Stones, it’s never on my side. It’s on my back a lot, but never on my side. It always moves too fast or too slow, it never moves on time. Aaaah, irony, sweet irony. Someday I'll get an irony board and straighten this whole mess out. Maybe tomorrow.

1:01PM:
Gumby and I sit here waiting. Gumby’s a lot more patient than me, but that’s because he has no arms or legs and can’t get anywhere unless I take him. The little freak!

1:07PM:
The internet isn’t working and this waiting around is going to drive me fucking nuts. I think I’ll look for a book to read.

1:13PM:
Ha! Two Fisted Cab Driving Tales by our own MBIP contributer and commenter Jaws. I’m going to read this till the Cable Guy shows up. If you don’t have a copy of this book, click here and get one, there's some great stories in it!

1:30PM:
I Just got a call and it’s the Cable Guy at the door! Hot damn! His name’s Cam and he’s been with Comcast for over 12 years. Hopefully he can solve this problem. He showed up just a half an hour after the cable window time started. I have complete faith in this fellow!