I was looking at the menu on the Burger King website and one item jumped out at me and that item was the Rodeo Crispy Chicken Sandwich. I don’t understand that name at all and it's really bothering me. Here’s the Merriam-Webster definition of the word “Rodeo”: “A public performance featuring bronco riding, calf roping, steer wrestling, and Brahma bull riding.” I don’t see the word chicken used there once and quite frankly if I went to a rodeo and saw chickens being roped or wrestled, I’d be somewhat sickened and would demand my money back! I thought for this week’s edition of Fast Food Friday I’d go and order one and see if we can figure out this mysterious title for a fast food chicken sandwich.
Calories: 960 • Fat 60 g • Cholesterol: 105 mg • Protein: 33 g • Sodium: 2230 mg (That’s just about an entire day’s worth of sodium in this one sandwich by the way.) • Cost: $5.87
A Drive-Through What The Fuck Moment
While waiting in the drive-through lane, I noticed the sign hovering above in the sky. It says, “Watch your head!” and then notes that the clearance is eight and a half feet! What the fuck? Do they think that the giant Lincoln is going to stop by for a Whopper?
How Fast Is It Really?
Four minutes, so not super fast, but the woman who took the order and delivered the food was polite and wished me a nice day, so they get points for that.
This is how the Rodeo Crispy Chicken Sandwich looks on Burger King’s website.
This is how it looked back at MBIP World Headquarters. It’s actually fairly close to the website’s picture.
Under The Bun
Part One: At first glance it actually looks pretty good, although according to their description the sandwich has three half strips of bacon and it looks like I got shorted somewhat.
Part Two: However when you look at the other side of the bun it gets a little more frightening and stomach-turning. Those onion rings look soggy and limp and that sauce underneath them looks like a mixture from a blood bank and a sperm donor. When I looked underneath the chicken patty it was pure sperm. My appetite is fading fast!
What’s amazing about this sandwich is how bland it tastes. You’d think with the onion rings, bacon, breaded chicken, cheese and that blood/sperm sauce there would be several flavors coming through but the main thing I tasted was salt. It tasted like a Seinfeld episode that had been dipped into a vat of Morton’s Salt. This sandwich is making me thirsty! Also the sandwich really looks horrific after you take a couple bites into it. It looks like a deep-fried large intestine operation gone horribly wrong. Time to dump the sandwich and go drink a gallon of water!
Fast Food Rating (Four Fingers Down The Throat Is The Worst, None Is The Best)
Two and a half fingers down the throat—If you like salt and a sandwich that resembles a surgical nightmare, then by all means, try the Burger King Rodeo Crispy Chicken Sandwich. And I still can’t figure out what the fuck this sandwich has to do with a rodeo! Must’ve been thought up by the same marketing genius that gave us this t-shirt and had this young fellow model it.