Okay, it’s Friday and that means it’s time to hit a fast food restaurant and try something I’ve never had before. Since yesterday was Thanksgiving, I thought I’d get a turkey sandwich somewhere and I discovered that Arby’s has a turkey gyro, so it’s off to the drive-through we go!
Fast Facts
Calories: 470 • Total Fat: 20 • Cholesterol: 45 • Sodium: 1520 • Carbohydrates: 48 • Cost: $4.43
How Fast Is It Really?
It took five minutes, so it wasn't that fast, but in their defense there were two cars in front of me.
The Myth
This is how the Arby’s Turkey Gyro is pictured on their website.
The Reality
It’s not that different from the website’s picture all folded up like this. However...
The Gyro Opened Up
When you open it up, it’s more than a little frightening! I went ahead and made a little face out of it, which adds a creepiness factor to it. All in all it looks like a salad gone horribly wrong with a pile of albino diarrhea plopped next to it. Not very appetizing whatsoever!
The First Bite And The Taste
This is truly barf at first bite! The pita is more like a tasteless pancake and it’s really soggy with the gyro sauce they slopped on it seeping through it. There isn’t much of a taste when you eat it, but there’s an after-taste that’s truly horrible. It tastes like a combination of a rancid pickle and a wet fart. What’s really disturbing is that as you eat it, a yellow liquid drips out of the end of the gyro like it’s taking a piss on the plate. It’s so disgusting! Between the albino diarrhea turkey mixture and the piss dripping out of the sandwich it’s like eating Edgar Winter’s three day old Depends diaper. Oh, the horror...the horror.
Fast Food Rating (Four Is The Worst, One Is The Best)
Four fingers down the throat. There is nothing good to be said about this disgusting and vile turkey gyro and now I’ve got the song, “Frankenstein” stuck in my head! Motherfucker!
Related Post: Fast Food Friday @: McDonald’s.