Back in 2013 when this blog was just about one month old, I decided to go and count all the gumball machines at The Northwoods Mall. Since then it’s turned into a January tradition that kicks off a new year here at MBIP. Last year we kind of hit a speedbump out there though. While taking photos a security guard came up and started yelling at me and telling me to stop taking pictures because it’s against the mall regulations to take pictures in there. We got a little angry with each other and I stomped out. Then I went back a few days later and this happened.
Well that caused a big whoop-dee-do on facecrack and while most people realized it was kind of done in fun, some people did say I shouldn’t have taken pictures of the security guy when he told me not to. And I admit, it was a little bit of an asshole move, but then sometimes I can be a little bit of an asshole! So there!
Anyway, I’ve decided this year to find the security guard and ask permission and see what happens. And so it’s off to the MBIP Mobile for this year’s annual gumball counting adventure!
And here we go. Wow, it’s fucking bright out here, normally I’d make some remark about finally getting some prescription sunglasses made but...
I don’t have to worry about that anymore since Ragin’ RR sent me these oversized shades! They work perfectly, thanks again, Ragin’ RR!
Here we are parked in the mall parking lot. I parked a little crookedly and too close to the other car. Why do I feel like I’m being judged right now? #Amber
Okay, it’s in we go. As I said, I have felt a little bad ever since last year’s mall cop post. I really do try to keep things positive and fun and that did get a little ugly. So I decided to find him and ask permission this year. I have to admit, my stomach was in a little bit of a knot, because I know myself and if he went off on me again, I knew I’d go berserk and a scene was sure to happen. Well, a funny thing happened and I wish I had a film of it. I found the security guard on the second floor perched atop his trusty Segway. I walked over to him, we both looked at each other for about 30 seconds and then we both started laughing! We talked about how that post blew up and he said it was the talk of the mall for days afterwards. He told me his name is George and we shook hands. I asked him if I could take pictures of the gumball machines and he called the manager of The Northwoods Mall on his walkie-talkie and I got permission to take pictures of the gumball machines. I asked George if I could take his picture and he said no, that could get him fired, so I shook his hand and went on my merry way. Maybe next year we’ll get his photo, this year, let’s go count the gumball machines, and take Northwoods Mall approved photos!
This is a brand new gumball display way up in the front of the mall. It’s kind of pathetic to admit this, but I was pretty thrilled to see this new display!
Bananarama! I wondered what happened to them!
This is the display that started this whole counting of the gumballs tradition. Back in 2013 I waked in and I saw it and was amazed by all the gumball machines and then as I walked along I kept seeing more and wondered just how many gumball machines the mall had. And I found out! Back then the mall had 68 gumball machines. The second year the count was up to 86 gumball machines and last year’s tally was down to 63. So far these first two displays have 31 gumball machines between the two of them. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty damned excited already!
Here’s something for the young evil-doers out there, tiny little guns! From the makers of “Li’l Explosives” and “Shirley Temple Molotov Cocktails.”
And the total climbs to 32...
Here’s another big display down here at the opposite end of the mall. Hey check out that machine in the middle at the bottom...
Bananarama! I wonder what...oh, wait, I did that already. Never mind.
Here we are up on the second level and there’s this impressive sting of gumball machines. This brings this year's count up to 68 so far for those of you keeping score out there and I’m pretty sure no one but me is actually keeping score, but that’s why I’m here!
I remember this one from last year. The name reminds me of a favorite store of mine that used to be on 14th Street in New York. I have a framed picture of it on my coffee table that can be found on these here interwebs.
Check out the “Fun Mix.” Yep, nothing quite says “fun” like dice, soccer balls, basketballs and...dislocated eyeballs.
And here’s the last row of gumball machines on the second level. And this brings this years total to...drumroll please...90 gumball machines at Northwoods Mall in 2016! This is a new record and I’m pretty fucking excited about this! And I think it’s time we made a purchase...
This looks interesting...
Meanwhile, back at MBIP World Headquarters...
It’s not really much of a disguise and it doesn’t match my hair. Kind of a gyp, but what are you going to do? Thanks to George the mall cop for being a good sport this year and next year my goal is to get a picture of the two of us together! We’ll see you all tomorrow!
Related Posts: The Third Annual Counting Of The Gumball Machines at Northwoods Mall!, 68 Gumball Machines At Northwoods Mall and A Trip To The Northwoods Mall To Count The Gumball Machines and Sit On The Easter Bunny’s Lap (It’s A Tough Job, But Someone Has To Do it!)
Bonus Cooter Doo Tribute!
One of the great things about doing this blog is all of the people I’ve met while doing it. Some of them have become really good friends of mine and one of those people is my friend Danielle. We’ve been friends since I stumbled into All Smiles Dental Care back in October of 2013 looking to get some novelty teeth made. From the moment I said hello we hit it off and she can always make me laugh with her great sense of humor. Well last week Danielle had to say goodbye to her baby girl, Cooter Doo. I never met Cooter Doo, but felt horrible for Danielle, Cooter Doo had been part of her and Brent’s family for 13 years. Danielle sent me these pictures and here’s a tribute to Danielle’s beloved Cooter Doo. Sorry I never got to meet Cooter Doo and I’m so sorry for your loss, Danielle! I love you!
Bonus Chewing Gum Meme From Jaws The Cabbie!
Jaws the Cabbie found this chewing gum meme online and sent it in. Ha! Perfect! Thanks, Jaws!