When I asked for suggestions about places to eat chicken wings at over on facecrack a few months ago, one place that got a few mentions is the Embassy Suites Hotel. I never would've thought to go there for chicken wings and this could be a hidden gem that needs to be uncovered. So pack up a shovel and let’s go see if we can dig up a hidden gem over in The Embassy Suites Hotel!
Embassy Suites drive-by shot!
This is one big-ass hotel! Hopefully it won’t be hard to find our chicken wing destination as I don’t really know which direction to move in. As usual I didn’t do much research, so it’s time to start walking and improvising!
We’ll go in these doors over here.
The lobby area is kind of over-whelming and scary because it’s so huge. I feel lost. Mommy! Help!
I felt scared and was on the verge of a Jimmy Swaggart-like sobbing breakdown when I ran into this lovely angel of mercy, Bianca. Bianca told me that all was well and pointed me to the direction of the hotel’s bar and restaurant. And she flashed a gorgeous smile while doing so. I feel much better now, thank you, Bianca!
Okay, we trekked though that massive lobby and check it out: Sign post ahead...
Yes, we have found our destination and it appears our destination’s name is The River Side Cafe. Let’s go check it out...
Just like steel to a magnet, I was immediately drawn to the bar. Let’s go belly up to it!
Okay we’ve settled in at the bar and the Alyssa, the pretty in pink bartender serves up an ice-cold bottle of Budweiser! Things are really cooking with peanut oil now!
Alyssa gave me a menu and they have two styles of chicken wings, Dry Rubbed Ranch and Smokey Sweet Adobo BBQ. I thought we’d throw caution to the wind and order both styles. And I apologize right here and right now to caution for throwing it to the wind, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!
Alyssa’s back! Alyssa’s sending in the wing order via the cash register, so while the people in the kitchen do their things with the wings, let’s take a little look around in here.
This is the back of bar with wooden shelving, liquor bottles and two flatscreen TV’s.
Here’s the quartet of taps available behind the bar. I started doing the beers on tap shot for MBIP reader Spike, but we haven’t heard from him since we’ve returned from hiatus and it appears we’ve lost him. Sob! Come back, Spike, we all miss you!
There’s tables, chairs and booths built into the walls to the side of the bar.
And more tables and extra-comfy, plush, padded chairs directly behind it. Those would be so easy to pass out in!
Here’s the dining room which is attached to the bar area. It’s mid-afternoon, so it’s empty.
There’s a nice patio outside, let’s take a gander at it...
It’s really nice out here and there’s a great river-side view, but it’s also hotter than fuck-all out here, let’s get back inside of the air-conditioned bar.
We’re back at the bar and it looks like it’s just about chicken wing time! I think that’s a little bit of overkill on the silverware for chicken wings, but what are you going to do?
Here’s Tammy with the two chicken wing selections. They smell great and I’m licking my choppers already!
This winged pile are the Dry Rubbed Ranch style...
And these little fellows are the Smokey Sweet Adobo BBQ wings.
Okay, I’ve taken a wing and a drummette from each style, properly peppered them and it’s time to begin that all important cooling process, which we all know by now leads us to...
Another beer! Cheers and chicken wings!
Patty told me that the Dry Rubbed Ranch wings don’t have any heat to them, but there is a little tub of their house-made hot sauce you can dip in if you want a little heat on the wing. So I dunked the wing to heat things up a little.
These are so good! I really like the flavor of the rub and the hot sauce not only has heat, it’s also got a nice spicy flavor and gives the wing a nice little zing. These are really tasty!
And now onto the Adobo BBQ wings. These are okay, but the sauce is a little too sweet for my tastes and they’ve slathered way too much of it onto the wings and it’s kind of overwhelming. Out of the two, I definitely recommend the Dry Rubbed Ranch style.
Weekly bones and napkin shot! Thanks to Bianca, Alyssa and Tammy for the hospitality and fun conversation!
Glass elevator alert! I saw this on the way towards the door and it freaked me the fuck out! It brought back a scary memory!
Chicken Wing Rating:
I’m going to do two ratings today, one for each flavor. The Dry Rubbed Ranch get’s three and a half Wings guitar picks. The ranch rub is really tasty and when you dip it into the house-made hot sauce the hot sauce plays off the flavorful rub like a team of well-rehearsed synchronized swimmers. Great wings in a hotel I never would’ve thought to check out!
The Adobo BBQ wings get two Wings guitar picks. They weren’t horrible, but they weren’t that great either. I’m not a fan of sweet BBQ sauce and they put way too much of it on the wings. Plus, the word, “Adobo,” really fucking bugs me. It makes me think of an Aztec clown gone horribly wrong and I don’t even know what that means or why my mind drifts to certain thoughts like this. It's just the way it is! Anyhoo, if you do venture to The River Side Cafe, I highly recommend the Dry Rubbed Ranch.
River Side Cafe in the Embassy Suites Hotel
100 Conference Center Drive
Bonus Wing Art From Jaws the Cabbie
Jaws the Cabbie sent in some chicken wing art from a place he thinks we should stop at on this chicken wing tour. Ha! I’d love to Jaws, but I don’t go to chain restaurants! Thanks!