Live, from Peoria, it’s Saturday Night Microwave Buffet starring this week’s host, Amber and featuring The Ready For Prime Beef Player, Marty Wombacher. And now, please welcome this week’s host, Amber!
Okay, we're doing something a little different this week. I got invited to a party! It’s MBIP pal Amber’s birthday tonight and she’s having a party at a house that she’s been renovating and is slowly moving into. However, since my life revolves around this blog I told her that if I went we’d have to do some sort of Saturday night dinner, so she said that was fine. I didn’t want her to have to cook on her birthday so I suggested that we have a microwave buffet and she told me that was perfect as she just got a new microwave installed in her kitchen and we could christen it with this dinner. I love it when things come together like that! But before we go to the party we need to get a birthday present for Amber, so here we are at Moxie’s ReSale Boutique, where they have all kinds of cool things for a birthday gift.
I called ahead and found out that Moxie’s owner, Mollee is out of town. She’s in Knoxville, Tennessee and Becky was taking charge of the shop in Mollee’s absence. I put Becky on the spot and asked her to pick out a couple of birthday gifts for Amber. That way if Amber doesn’t like the gifts, it’s not my fault! Being a great sport Becky agreed, said she’d call Mollee and the two of them picked out some gifts for me to give to Amber. Let’s go inside and pick up our birthday package!
I bet your Monkey's Uncle that that's Becky over there behind the counter...
And sure as shit on a shingle, it's the lovely Becky! You owe me one Monkey's Uncle! There's our birthday gift and she even wrapped it all up in cool leopard print paper. Very nice! It was great to meet Becky and I thank her and Mollee for picking out Amber's present. Okay, now it's off to work and then we have one more stop before we hit Amber's party.
Alright, through the magic of these here interwebs my work shift is magically over and here we are at the frozen food aisle of Schnuck's grocery store.
We're all set! I was going to just get like four things, but once I got locked up in the heat of choosing items in this frozen food tundra, I couldn't stop and maybe over-bought a little. But the way I look at it, it's always better to have more than not enough and so we're finally ready to go to the party.
Here we are at Amber's abode. Looks like a cool house and check out the deer in the front yard. Amber told me she's spent over a year training him. Let's try him out, "Stay, deer...stay!" Wow, she did a great job, who knew that Amber was an animal trainer? Such a talented woman!
Let's go in and see what's going on...
The party appears to be in full swing in the front room here, let's meet the host and some of the guests before we begin the microwaving of the meal.
This is Amber's neighbor, Steve who is rumored to have an Elvis bathroom in his house. That's a little scary, seeing that the King died near the porcelain throne, but it still sounds intriguing.
Brent and Jeremy are staring straight ahead, apparently they've surrendered to the void...not that there's anything wrong with that!
Brent finally decided to face the camera and he's joined in this lovely photo by his wife Danielle and Adam.
And here's Amber and Danielle, if these two pretty women look familiar it's because you're remembering them from our posts from All Smiles Dental Care, the only fun dental office in Peoria!
Amber gave me a tour of her house and it's really cool and this is my favorite part of it, a bar in the basement! She's going to fix it all up with vintage signs and when she christens it, we'll feature it right here on MBIP! She's trying to think of a name for the bar. I came up with, "The Amber Alert." Anybody out there got an idea for a name for this bar? I'll buy the one that's chosen a free drink when it opens up for business!
Back in the kitchen, Danielle is showing Kathy and Luke the fine art of two-fisted drinking! You go, girl! It's just about time to start the microwave buffet, but first...
It's time for Amber to open up her birthday gift from Moxie's!
First out of the box is a very cool watch, I really like the leather band on it. What a timely present! Somewhere John Cameron Swayze is smiling.
Amber was so excited by this scarf, she busted out her combination Stevie Nicks, Stevie Wonder impersonation!
This t-shirt is perfect as Amber used to work in a funeral home and has an extensive collection of skull-related items in her house. Okay, happy birthday to Amber and now it's time to microwave!
We spread all the frozen food out on the counter with some sauces and mustard at the end.
Here's the middle section, note the "Easy" Tater Tots front and center. What's better than a slutty Tater Tot? Nothing, that's what!
This is the end of the microwave food chain as we know it, time to start nuking!
Amber strikes a Home Shopping Network pose with her virgin microwave that will soon be filled with slutty Tater Tots. I love it when that happens!
Here's the first item to be cooked, Super Pretzel things. We decided to time the cooking process and it's 11PM on the dot. Let the nuking begin!
I was kind of dreading cooking all this stuff and was really worried that it might interfere with my drinking time, but luckily Jon stepped up to the plate and volunteered to do all of the microwaving! Very nice of Jon, who by the way is either a very good friend of Amber's, her brother or all of the above. You make the call!
The clock has just struck midnight and the microwave buffet is ready for consumption.
Luke is ready to start sampling the buffet as Sarah keeps her distance from it.
He and Jon are grazing the nuclear buffet.
We all agreed that the hour of microwaving all this different food produced a very strong ham-like odor that may still be wafting through the walls today. Oh well, there's worse things than a house that smells like ham.
One of my favorite items of the night was a microwaved White Castle slider.
Probably my favorite nuked food of the evening were the pretzel dogs dipped directly into this bottle of mustard. Delicious! And no, I did not double dip!
Daniel agreed that the pretzel dogs were the top of this microwave food chain.
The won tons were also a big hit and we all agreed that they tasted least like a microwaved food item.
Alright, it took exactly one hour to cook and about 17 minutes for everyone to have their fill and maybe feel just a little ill.
Can you say, "congealed?" I knew that you could!
After the microwave buffet, the party moved outside where the air was free from a ham-embraced odor. Thanks again to Jon for cooking and plating the entire buffet and happy birthday to Amber! Thanks for a fun party and we'll see you all tomorrow!
Today’s post was brought to you by No Wake Zone. Check them and all the other fine businesses helping to support this blog over at the MBIP Bucket List Page. Your Daily Random Linkage awaits you at the bottom of the that page as well!