Okay, I’ve decided to turn this “Two Beers @...” into a series here at MBIP. It’s going to replace my swizzle stick night out on Sundays and it’ll be a post where I can go and really showcase a local bar around town once a week. I’ve decided to post this on Fridays as it’ll be a nice way to start the weekend here at MBIP.
The other day at the MBIP facecrack page, Gary Bowman told me that Katie McButt’s has free hotdogs on noon.
Well, I do the hot dog thing on Sundays and they (and so many other bars) are closed on Sundays, so I thought I’d go there tonight for the two beers thingy. To the MBIP mobile!
Katie McButt's is right up there, it looks kind of dark on the block.
Huh, it looks like the lights are off and none of the neon is lit up in the window.
The door is locked, the place is closed. Shit, it's only 10:30PM on a Thursday night, I don't believe this!
Okay, time to improvise. You know what? I kind of had a headache anyway, it was kind of a long day at work, I've decided to do the two beers thing at home. It's been a while since I've done a post from my apartment.
Here we are, home sweet home.
Let's check out the fridge, I'm sure we can find some beer in there.
There's the beer and contrary to popular belief that this thing never houses solid food, check out the jar of pickles to the left up on top!
Long time readers of this blog will remember that I've got an ice machine in my basement, something I'm pretty proud of. I thought it might be fun to take two beers down there, chill them in the ice machine and hang out. And we can take Gumby along for the ride, it's been awhile since I've featured him.
The ice machine is just down this hallway, inside the door on the right up there.
There it is, my old friend Mr. Ice Machine. I still can't get over how cool it is to have your own personal ice machine in an apartment building. It makes me feel like I'm living in a hotel!
Let's open him up and put the beer and Gumby on ice.
Thanks for housing my beer tonight, Mr. Ice Machine!
Oh, like I’ve got a choice in the fucking matter.
What do you mean?
You throw that shit in there, you stick Gumby inside of me, how the fuck am I supposed to stop you?
Hey, you want to watch that language, I get complaints about that, you know?
Fuck you, asshole. I could give one half a shit about any complaints you get.
Wow, you’re really cold, aren’t you?
What do you expect, jerkoff, I’m a fucking ICE MACHINE!
Well, you do have a point there.
And so do you, right on top of your fucking skull. Asshole!
You know what, this was a mistake, I don’t need you cursing all over my blog and being rude. I’m just going to get my ice and leave.
Thank you and good fucking riddance to bad scum. Hey asshole, before you leave, what do you do with all the ice you take out of here every fucking night? I mean as far as I know, you mainly drink beer, I know you’re not drinking that shit on the rocks. So why are you down here every fucking night taking a huge bag of ice home with you?
Well, this may sound a little weird, but I like to fill my toilet up with ice and then piss on it and watch it melt. It's kind of like a hobby of mine.
What the fuck? Who does that? You call that a hobby? Sweet singing Jesus, what a fucking weirdo!
This’ll shut you up. Goodbye, Mr. Ice Machine!
Let’s go back to my apartment. I could use a beer or three about now!
(Two hours later.) Well, since I was home I kind of exceeded the two beer limit, since I didn’t have to worry about driving. Burp.
Okay...I gotta...well, you know...go. See you all tomorrow!
The answer my friend is just pissin' in the wind,
The answer is pissin' in the sink.