The original John Lennon interview (the answers come from this), which serves as half of the template for this (fake) interview took place in New York City on December 8th, 1970 and appeared in Rolling Stone magazine in cover stories dated, January 21st and February 4, 1971. The other half of this interview, (the questions) took place in my mind over the last two nights. Lather, rinse, repeat...and don’t forget folks, it makes its own sauce when you add water. That’s the really important thing here...if you really think about it, which some people don’t. Too bad for them.
MBIP: Going back to the beginning of what is known as, “Twittergate,” I remember hearing you on the Greg and Dan Show on WMBD saying that all you did was register a complaint to the police over the fake Mayor Ardis Twitter account and nothing else, but that wasn’t totally true in light of the emails that came out later in the PJ Star. Would you care to comment on this fact?
J.A: I don’t remember that. You know, we all say a lot of things when we don’t know what we’re talking about. I’m probably doing it now, I don’t know what I say. You see, everybody takes you up on the words you said, and I’m just a guy that people ask all about things, and I blab off and some of it makes sense and some of it is bullshit and some of it’s lies and some of it is—God knows what I’m saying.
So what do you think of Twitter and social media in general?
I’m frightened of it. People are so aggressive, I can’t take all that I need to go home, I need to have a look at the grass. I’m always writing about my English garden. I need the trees and the grass; I need to go into the country, because I can’t stand too much people.
Okay, let’s say Jon Daniel, the guy who created the fake mayor account and Jacob Elliot his pal who got busted for having weed in the house showed up at your place with some beer and said, “Hey Fishlips, let’s have a few beers, talk this shit out and maybe bury the hatchet and make some peace,” how would you be with that?
I’m not their fucking parents, that’s what it is. They come to the door with a fucking peace symbol and expect to just sort of march around the house or something. They’re under a delusion of awareness by having long hair, and that’s what I’m sick of. They frighten me, a lot of uptight maniacs going around, wearing fuckin’ peace symbols.
So when you first saw the fake Mayor Twitter account, what sort of feelings did it stir up inside of you?
It was only another mirror. It wasn’t a miracle. It was more of a visual thing and a therapy, looking at yourself a bit. It did all that. You know, I don’t quite remember.
How did everybody in your office react to all this publicity revolving around what is now called, Twittergate?
I don’t know how the others took it, it’s no good asking me…it’s like asking me how you took it. I don’t know. I’m in me own head, I can’t be in anybody else’s.
It’s obvious you’re angry over all of this. I’ll give you a chance just to say to people what you really want to get off your chest, okay you’ve got ten seconds...go!
What do I have to do to prove to you son-of-a-bitches what I can do, and who I am? Don’t dare, don’t you dare fuckin’ criticize my work like that. You, who don’t know anything about it.
It was kind of kooky at that press conference when you read the Tweets from the fake Twitter account out loud, because no one expecting you to say, “I woke up with pussy on my breath,” and so on. What was the thinking and strategy behind reading the Tweets aloud at that press conference?
I was cursing, because I hadn’t done it. I wanted to do it, I should have done it. Ah, damn, shit, what a fool I was.
Do you ever have to hang out with other Mayors? And if so, is that weird?
The most humiliating experiences were like sitting with the Mayor of the Bahamas and being insulted by these fuckin’ junked up middle-class bitches and bastards who would be commenting on our work and commenting on our manners. I was always drunk, insulting them. I couldn’t take it. It would hurt me. I would go insane, swearing at them. I would do something. I couldn’t take it.
If you could be something other than the Mayor of Peoria, what would you be?
One of my big things is that I wish to be a fisherman. I know it sounds silly—and I’d sooner be rich than poor, and all the rest of that shit—but I wish the pain was ignorance or bliss or something. If you don’t know, man, then there’s no pain; that’s how I express it.
He was just another guy who comes and goes around people like us. He’s all right, but he’s cracked, you know.
Another local journalist and a guy I once forced to be photographed wearing a sombrero, is Matt Buedel. He wrote a lot about Twittergate for the PJ Star, including the groundbreaking FOIA email piece. I heard he asked a question at your press conference where you told everyone not to ask questions. Were you pissed off when he did that?
No, I wasn’t angry. He’s about the best in the world, probably. He really does a good job. I wasn’t angry. We were all hurt that he didn’t tell us that was what he was going to do.
So for those of us that don’t really know what you do, can you quickly tell us about what you do as your job as being the Mayor of Peoria?
You know, my job—I maneuver people. That’s what leaders do, and I sit and make situations which will be of benefit to me with other people, it’s as simple as that.
This has nothing to do with anything but I have to ask: What do you think of The Rolling Stones?
I like “Honky Tonk Woman” but I think Mick’s a joke, with all that fag dancing, I always did. I enjoy it, I’ll probably go and see his films and all, like everybody else, but really, I think it’s a joke.
So is there anything in closing that you’d like to say to people who read the MBIP blog?
No, I can’t think of anything positive and heartwarming to win your readers over.
One last question: What about you and the former Chief of Police, Chief Settingsgaard, I read that he took a job elsewhere for a pocketful of mumbles and bolted on you after the whole Twittergate thing blew up. Can I assume that the two of you probably won’t be hanging out anytime in the near future?
No, no. I hope we’re a nice old couple living off the coast of Ireland or something like that—looking at our scrapbook of madness.
Bonus T-Shirt Shots From Moxie’s ReSale Boutique!
She's been sold out of these forever...let's make tracks to go get a shirt right now!
Here we are at Moxie's, check out the 4th of July decorations!
And there's Mollee, the pretty owner stylizing one of the P-Town t-shirts at the front counter.
After these are sold, there may not be any more, I'm grabbing one today and I'll be modeling it on tomorrow's post. But for today...
Here's Mollee rockin' her Moxie, I certainly won't look this good in the shirt, but what are you going to do! See you all tomorrow!
Today’s post was brought to you by No Wake Zone. Check them and all the other fine businesses helping to support this blog over at the MBIP Bucket List Page. Your Daily Random Linkage awaits you at the bottom of the that page as well!