Zager and Evans were a Lincoln, Nebraska, rock-pop duo of the late 1960s named after its two members, Denny Zager and Rick Evans. They are mostly known as a one-hit wonder for their 1969 single, "In the Year 2525.”
"In the Year 2525" hit number one on the Hot 100 in 1969. It claimed the number one spot for six weeks. It also topped the charts in the UK.
Despite the record's massive success, follow-up singles such as "Mr. Turnkey" (a song about a rapist who nails his own wrist to the jail wall as punishment for his crime) went largely unnoticed by the public. "In the Year 2525" was their only Hot 100 entry.
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Zager: Hello.
Evans: Hello, could I speak to Zager, please?
Zager: This is Zager, who am I speaking to?
Evans: Oh, hi Zager, this is Evans.
Zager: Hello Evans, it’s been quite a while since we last spoke, huh?
Evans: Yeah, I think the last time we talked was at our bankruptcy meeting in 1970.
Zager: That’s right. Wow, I still can’t believe we lost all of our money.
Evans: I know, I guess we were pretty dumb to let our manager handle our cash. He robbed us blind and blew all of our money.
Zager: Yeah, we were really stupid.
Awkward Silence.
Evans: So what have you been doing the last few decades, Zager?
Zager: Not a whole lot, Evans. I pretty much just sit around in a depressed funk and think about those few months we were rich and famous and all the trappings that went with it, and how we lost it all so quickly.
Awkward Silence.
Evans: Hey Zager, remember the time we were on The Smothers Brothers TV show?
Zager: Oh boy, do I ever, Evans! Remember the party in Hollywood that we went to after the show? All the booze and drugs...
Evans: And women! We had our pick of any of the women there that night. Whew...I remember it ended in a cocaine-fueled orgy. Those were the days my friend!
Zager: No fooling! Hey Evans, when’s the last time you had sex with a woman?
Evans: Umm...I think it was back in 1971, if I’m remembering correctly.
Zager: Was she a prostitute?
Evans: Yeah.
Zager: Was she good looking?
Evans: Oh no, I only had seven dollars to my name at the time. She was smelly, fat, toothless and somewhat mentally challenged. How about you, Zager, when’s the last time you had sex with a woman?
Zager: The night of The Smothers Brothers show at that party in Hollywood.
Awkward Silence.
Evans: Hey Zager, can I ask you something personal?
Zager: Sure, Evans, what?
Evans: Have you ever had to uhh...you know...suck cock for money?
Zager: Oh yeah. How about you Evans, have you ever had to suck cock for cash?
Evans: Yeah, it’s not very fun and pretty gosh-darned degrading.
Zager: I know. I feel a little ill just thinking about it. Boy, I never thought back in 1969 we’d end up as two old male whores.
Evans: Yeah, our lives are not a pretty picture.
Awkward Silence.
Zager: Hey Evans, do you ever get so depressed that you think about suicide?
Evans: I sure do, Zager. I pretty much spend all day and night with a razor blade on my wrist, trying to summon up the courage to put an end to this horrible, depressing nightmare of a life. How about you Zager, do you ever think about suicide?
Zager: Oh yeah, Evans. I cradle a loaded sawed-off shotgun 24/7. One of these days I’ll finally find the guts to pull the trigger and put myself out of this misery that some people call a life.
Awkward Silence.
Evans: Well, listen, I’ve got to run Zager. Thanks for calling, it’s sure been great talking with you.
Zager: Nice talking to you too, Evans. Sneeze ya later, alligator!
Evans: Toodleoo, buckaroo!
CLICK.
Sound of a shotgun blast in the distance...
Further reading: All Music, This Day In History and BBC.
